And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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