I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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