Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
