i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
