Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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