it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
