I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
