I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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