glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
