If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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