I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
