farters have to be the big spoon...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Randomize
