Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
