Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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