my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
