Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
