Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you made out with another girl for some wings
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
