You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
