Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
