youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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