You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
