boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
