Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
