It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
