Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she smelled like a LAN party
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
