Can Purell be used as lube?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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