I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
