PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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