i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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