I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
