he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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