I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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