I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
