the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
