do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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