girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
