Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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