he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
