Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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