I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
