I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
