Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
