I am puke
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
