Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
