who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
