I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
