you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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