Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
