She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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