Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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