i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
