Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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