Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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